tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41128447582331382282024-03-13T07:00:32.146-07:00love crosses oceans Xtiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.comBlogger471125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-80053593234742724042021-06-01T03:31:00.002-07:002021-06-01T03:32:02.228-07:00remembrance. <br />
one of those moments where the deepest places of my heart come boiling forth, like a pot of water forgotten at the stove. unaware of the eruption, until it's overflowing.<br />
<br />
turning my head, ever so slowly, to peer back into the hallway behind me. full of doors marked with seasons.<br />
<br />
the distance behind so far, the starting point so small, i have to squint my eyes to see it. to remember.<br />
<br />
knob after knob, worn from the entrance and the exit. the gold scuffed off. some hinges squeakier than other.<div><br /></div><div>to see behind is to fuel onward motion. </div><div><br /></div><div>i will remember Your love.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-67741526595198865972021-06-01T03:29:00.004-07:002021-06-01T03:29:48.909-07:00brick by brick<br />
i'm building my life<br />
brick by brick<br />
<br />
brick by brick<br />
i can't turn back time<br />
brick by brick<br />
<br />
lean in and peer inside<br />
rough indentions and<br />
small spaces<br />
<br />
worlds within clay<br />
moments trapped in blocks<br />
engrained in the walls of my home<br />
<br />
brick by brick<br />
i'm building my life<br />
brick by brick<br />
<br />
brick by brick<br />
i can't turn back time<br />
brick by brick<br />
<br />
east side west side<br />
sun rises above<br />
eyes squint as glory appears<br />
<br />
so many cracks/crevices, <div>bite-size regrets<br />
bricks so frail they crumble under the weight<br />
of the brick above<br />
<br />
dust clouds sliding out from beneath<br />
like snakes from their burrows<br />
stability slipping away<br />
<br />
the bright light peering through<br />
the holes of missed moments<br />
weak bricks and imperfect building<br />
<br />
but i carry on</div><div><br /></div><div>brick by brick</div><div>I'm building my life</div><div>brick by brick</div><div><br /></div><div>brick by brick</div><div>i can't turn back time</div><div>brick by brick</div><div><br /></div><div>click click</div><div>brick by brick</div><div>
<br /></div>tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-6591152323371371082021-06-01T03:24:00.004-07:002021-06-01T03:25:37.062-07:00UnInspired.<p><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px;">Today I felt uninspired.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Perhaps I felt</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Inspired to crawl out from within </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">the dungeon called</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Uninspired</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">But alas that aspiration was not </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Enough.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">We, the creators, must silence all</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The muddle and muck of </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Colour and noise that means </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Nothing </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Isn’t it a thief</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Insta-bytes and uninspired blubbering</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Of content </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Steals away true, authentic, gut wrenching </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Soul transforming, awe inspiring, visceral </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">BEAUTY</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">uhhhhh, I want to throw up all the hours</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Of consumption of </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Fodder and fast food art and words</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You, you, you </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You spit them out </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">thinking they hold worth because they are</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Out there now</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">But existence does not equate value </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">When we are speaking about </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Reflection and</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Opinion</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">A diet rich in uninspired, self gratifying </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Head puffing up dialogue and </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Tiny squares grows humans -</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Lo! Humanity -</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Of a mundane, systematic species</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Bent toward regurgitating uninspired </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Vomit for the dogs.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">How to change ones diet</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Or transform ones frame?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Are you asking?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">How to become inspired again?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">How to have something worthwhile to offer the world, the child, the dying man?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">How to bring quality and calibre to the noise?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">How to be a harmonious symphony amidst the traffic of </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">man-made opinions and ideas and constructs that </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">SUCK OUT THE LIFE?</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Let’s be Silent </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">again.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Let’s wait. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Shhhhhhhhhhh.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Do you hear that low grade whisper </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">that hovers over the dew </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">that rests on each blade of grass</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Quiet! </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Atoms vibrating on the sunrise </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and if you still yourself</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You’ll catch them and eat them </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and be nourished again</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Turn off what’s in your hand </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and turn on your soul </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">once again</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pause in the afternoon.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Let air and oxygen and 3pm sunshine </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wrap</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Up</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Find the slivers in the atmosphere that open</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You up to something spiritual </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">And eternal </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Sit with it</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Wonder again </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Ru-mi-Nate</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Drink of the Voice</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The great Inspirer </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The Beginning of all true</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Philosophy and Idea</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Andi</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Be beauty again.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p>tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-32465102463915585222021-06-01T03:22:00.005-07:002021-06-01T03:22:31.671-07:00I dreamed again<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Skin nestled next to the corners of the eyes</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and lines pointing to the triangle of white.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Like arrows </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">leading to the sun -</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">a fireball watching over for 35 years.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">It gives gifts, </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">like textured hands </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and busy brains.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pumping blood to the rhythm of, <br />
“To do rather than to be. to move rather than to feet, </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> 'cause we don’t have time for that”</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">The daily blaze speaks, </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">as we roll toward him for a sunset, </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and roll away </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">all the same.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I dreamed again of my childhood. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Those final pages </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">where summary is like twine tying up</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">something - though it feels</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> undone.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I dreamed again of feeling. Of unknowing.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Of discovery - a pillowy dress surrounding me.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I dreamed again of beauty.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Rays of heat present,</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">nestling upon that small patch of the wooden floor -</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">where dust particles dance and float and suspend</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">themselves for a moment.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">With nothing else to do </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">but be.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">As eyes close, the temples stretch, and</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">It’s smooth again.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">A freshly made skin bed -</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Unbothered.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Unknowing.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Young again.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I dreamed again.</p><div><br /></div>tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-27895903362249704562021-06-01T03:14:00.007-07:002021-06-01T03:26:12.567-07:00Lines<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Sometimes at night I have dreams</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">where I’m wholly within my</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> 20 year old frame </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and thoughts,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> still unformed like </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">the sand surrounding a child </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">before a castle is born.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I fully feel, </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">feel fully, the expectation of life </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and love and loss and the </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">lingering sense of not knowing </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and only beginning to know.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Stuffed with childhood and wonder.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">A soul like a telescope searching outward </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> for discovery and</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">stretching to bring the outside world</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">in.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Then I awake with a small, </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">squishy skin of a child</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">nestled next to my frame that has </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> sense walked like one with pails of water -</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">but sloshing inside is the archives of a full grown </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">woman.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Shapes and hips and forehead lines </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">can’t deceive that which was felt in a dream.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">She can’t run from all the days piled up like sand,</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">forming the walls and windows and pillars with castle like peaks.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You can’t undue</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> womanhood. </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You can’t expect the wave to </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> wash it away - </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">because the seaside of time isn’t cyclical in a 24 hour way.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">No </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">now, where time lives in the skin, </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">in the brain, </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">in the depths -</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">One must pull from within </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">out, out, out</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">and let the sound of a one woman history </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">give of itself.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Let others drink the water and</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> take residence in the castle of the</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Life</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">You’ve </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Built.</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Of days and days</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Of sand and soul :</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Lines connecting then to the here and now.</p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p>tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-7188924499360584182018-07-05T05:15:00.002-07:002018-07-05T05:25:02.200-07:00silent seasons of growth.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sometimes the way God transforms is not quick nor dramatic. Sometimes it is in a very quiet, subtle way - often unseen by the eye - like the way the morning sun dries up the night’s dew every morning before many feet step upon the dry, erect grass - facing the Sun, and ready for the day. Or the way the world so slowly spins and orbits to keep life maintained.<br />
<br />
Sometimes the way He grows us is similar to the growth of our bones as a child. Unseen, hidden, but lengthening and pushing the skin to grow and form around it all the while. Or like the strengthening of the lungs over our first months breathing oxygen, stronger with each breath, resilience formed over time - in the womb of darkness.<br />
<br />
I look back at God’s absolute and utter faithfulness to grow me, to expand me, to lengthen me, to transform me. He’s present within the deepest places of who I am, and has intentionality in every aspect of my story. In my busyness, and my life maintenance, I often am unaware of personal growth. I move forward, fumbling often, frustrated by my own short-comings, or even the chill of my heart colder than I would have wanted it to be at 32 - all by any own immature, and ungraceful self-assessment. I want to feel the burning, every moment, as I did when I was 22 - I want to weep and scream and feel the raging seas and the whirlwind of His glory. Sometimes, however, He knows the quietness is the best thing for my growth - like a seed silently bursting forth with green life below the ground. Hidden, as if in a grave under soil and sand, being transformed from a dead seed to a living, oxygenating life force. Faith ruminating that says, “Though I can’t see it, though I can’t feel it, I am being changed.”<br />
<br />
Sometimes God calls us to the extravagant offerings, but He is always calling us to the consistent forward movements. I think, often, these extreme moments in our story are much more for us than they are ever for Him. He knows that and so He kindly weaves them in. They help bring energy to our frames and drama to our souls. What He asks for is the quiet and consistent life of love. One that repays offense and injustice with heaps of love. One that fights hard to keep hunger alive in the human soul and never grow weary with the deep longing in our soul that cries out for the more. One that shows up, day after day, in obedience and moves forward when everything hurts and you’re tired and worn out and want to quit. It’s a life, no matter the seasons, remains fixated on the Man who awoke our hearts to love and made us orphans no longer. It says, “What next” and obeys regardless of cost. It daily relinquishes its right to comfort, to acknowledgment, to self-reliance, to having the story told in our favor. It runs into His arms again and again, like a child unashamed, and letting Him hold us like children again and again.<br />
<br />
It lives for the Audience of One. Truly - it does not despise the small beginnings, the hidden seasons, nor the places of death.<br />
<br />
Transformation - the pathway of the disciple - is not one that feels good. It is however, one that is never walked alone. If you quiet your own busy soul enough you will feel Him so near, and if you look to the right or the left, you will see a company of others walking with you. Some in this age, and other heroes in history gone.<br />
<br />
He’s always doing, changing, transforming. He’s faithful to finish the good work He began in us - regardless of my own fatigue, discouragement, or immaturity. He keeps His promises. He’s unrelenting in the story of my soul and the story of the ages.<br />
<br />
The deepest places of my being say, "Come " And all of us on this road upward say, "Come " And every thirsty soul says, “Come”; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost - and let us Rest in the promise of forever rest and eternal fulfillment. That when He comes, and we see Him face to face, all the wrestling of the life of faith - that moves on even though it does not see it clearly - will be utterly changed.<br />
<br />
“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
<br />
<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-20567736468037678322017-10-03T05:13:00.003-07:002017-10-03T05:57:40.668-07:00pain : it's bringing us closer.<br />
<br />
We are crawling out of one of those whirlwinds as a family - where it feels like you escape reality and go deep into a hole that you may never get out of. The hole was the stomach bug - or some sort of African version of it - and it ravaged my two older kids. <br />
<br />
Lucia got it as Amos was recovering, and hers was worse than her brothers. Two nights ago, her stomach was in so much pain - from right before dinner until 6AM she was moaning from stomach cramps. We had thought we were in the clear, and she ate some food too early and was hit so hard. <br />
<br />
She couldn’t move much - and it was reminiscent of a woman in labor. I had to convince her to move to the bath, or running water. I tried holding her grown, 4 year old body - swaying her to sleep for a handful of minutes at a time. I pressed her stomach, scratched her back, had her lay on her belly, had her lay on her side. <br />
<br />
We knew there wasn’t much the doctor could do, as stopping the cramping prolongs the bug. I kept asking her if she wanted to go to the hospital - and that I thought it would be gone by the morning. Her strong and resilient eyes looked at me and would say, “No, momma, just pray.”<br />
<br />
So we prayed. Whenever she got so exhausted from the aching, she would ask me to pray. I would lay my hand on her stomach, or on her back and pray in the spirit. I would pray out loud, and she would to, asking God to take away the belly aches. We would tell it to go in Jesus name. <br />
<br />
It didn’t though, and by 3AM, after consistent stomach pains, I was spent and so was she. I looked at her and started crying and said, “Lucia, I would take it if I could! I hate seeing you hurt. I hate it. I want it to go!” <br />
<br />
I was so exhausted and so frustrated and said in my heart, “God! Why don’t you just take the pain away? I KNOW YOU CAN.” and I heard His voice say the most unexpected words. “Tiffany, this is going to make you closer. It’s tying your hearts together.” <br />
<br />
It stopped me.<br />
<br />
After I heard that we turned on worship music and we worshipped. I held her and we sang, and then we laid down and I sang, and after some hours of this, around 5:45 as the sun was beginning to rise, she fell asleep. She woke up at 7:30 AM with most of the pain gone.<br />
<br />
The next day, after she had taken a nap she looked at me and said, “Momma, I love you so much. Thank you - we did it. I'm all better!” I looked at her, feeling like we had walked through a fire together, and said, “You did it, Lucia. It was so hard, and it hurt so bad, and you didn’t give up. You didn’t get angry. You made it through.” <br />
<br />
I was crying, and she teared up too. Somehow, that long night of pain, it changed us. And when I said those things to her, it extended beyond our long night of stomach cramps - it covered the past year of her life. <br />
<br />
She, and her brother, did it. It was hard - they left their friends, their comforts, their family. They watched toys be sold and go off into other family’s vans. They wept and wailed when they said goodbye to their grandparents and cousins - saying, in their chid like vocabulary, “If it’s possible, let this cup pass from me!” They learned to sleep soundly in new houses and new homes, in a new city in a new country. It hurt - and their hearts are not unaware of pain. They didn’t grow angry and they made it through. We are closer because of it and God is even more real to us today than before.<br />
<br />
Often I want to shield my children from all pain - pain on the playground, pain from friends, pain in their bodies, pain from my own mistakes. I am well aware, from my own experience, that pain marks us, wounds us. However, in life, pain is unavoidable… but God promises to work it for our good and take us through the process of healing. He says that our sufferings produce a perseverance that keeps us going even when it hurts, that produces character - that does what is right even when its hard - that gives birth to HOPE. Hope that is LIVING and ties our hearts to eternity. It carries us through this side of life, full of brokenness and evil and many moments of pain - victoriously. <br />
<br />
The past year of our lives has been full of hard things. I bet, if you evaluated your life, the past year has held some suffering for you as well. “Through trials and tribulations we enter the kingdom of God.” The new testament is filled with suffering: accusation, opposition, abandonment, persecution, murder, isolation. The most beautiful picture of our future hope, the book of Revelation, was written out of an encounter given to a man isolated as a prionser on the Island of Patmos. His suffering produces the picture of where this thing is heading: our future Hope. Suffering will be, in harmony with the heights of joy in knowing God and making Him known, our reality - but He can do something in us, so deeply, in these moments of suffering that bind us to Him and bind us to each other. <br />
<br />
God isn’t afraid of pain nor suffering and I don’t want to be either. He willingly put His son in the midst of it - to overcome it on our behalf. Jesus walked through it with the hope (not wishful thinking but future certainty) of glory of redeemed brothers and sister in His kingdom set before Him - carrying Him on. He’s not afraid to allow suffering to lead us to the greater good. He equips us with His living Spirit, and the ability to thrive and reign in life IN THE MIDST.<br />
<br />
Surely, the idea is unpopular. I also know - that we should consider our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (romans 2) I know that trials and pain do not have to weaken hope or weaken us, but they CHANGE us so that we increase in our ability to SEE and AGREE with God, change us to beings more like Him, so that we can be more free, more whole, more victorious - stable in the midst of a storm, rooted in the midst of turmoil, confident in the midst of pain. He makes us able to function out of the reality of the Hope of what we may not yet see, but wait patiently for.<br />
<br />
I am reminded of this old Rita Springer song, and I truly believe, as we encounter His face - shining in glory - and peer into, with the ability to fully comprehend it, our eternity - we will say, "It truly was worth it."<br />
<br />
I don't understand your ways / Oh but I will give you my song / give you all of my praise / you hold on to all my pain / with it you are pulling me closer / and pulling me into your ways <br />
<br />
Its gonna be worth it, / Its gonna be worth it all, / I believe this. / Its gonna be worth it, / Its gonna be worth it all, / I believe this.<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="430" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DzSJ8snhXao" width="640"></iframe><br />
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<br />
tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-50741450304514352202017-07-24T04:09:00.002-07:002017-07-24T04:11:14.977-07:00flame to flame.<br />
<br />
we are all born from blood and water<br />
from mud we could have been formed<br />
the air enclosed within, breathing, out and in<br />
of heavenly descent<br />
<br />
we are all but skin draped on bones<br />
we are all blood rushing, muscle stretching<br />
electricity in the brain<br />
we are all creatures. crawlers. walkers. <br />
<br />
houses of cell walls built high<br />
to house glory<br />
a home to the otherworldly<br />
<br />
a human furnace meant to harbor<br />
an unquenchable flame <br />
burning and blazing and bursting forth<br />
through our mouths as we <br />
speak<br />
<br />
a flicker<br />
a flicker<br />
a brilliant flash of light<br />
and a song<br />
<br />
as heaven collides with earth<br />
a twilight of glimmer betwixt night and day<br />
when the supernatural snuggles near<br />
the here and now<br />
<br />
dwelling within the surrendered bosom of humanity<br />
whose feet are grounded to the earth he was given<br />
like a temple, like an ark, <br />
is the power of the Uncreated force<br />
<br />
we are all walking to die<br />
as the days tic by<br />
time like a hurricane, wind by wind reminding us<br />
of the finite conclusion<br />
<br />
so<br />
radiate life force<br />
bridge eternity into finality<br />
collide life with death and<br />
set sparks until we see <br />
His wildfire<br />
<br />
all while tending to the Light within<br />
ashes to ashes. dust to dust. flame to flame.<br />
<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-1641001920617596252017-07-17T02:23:00.001-07:002017-07-17T04:05:01.477-07:00to build again.<br />
<br />
hello small child<br />
Hair too thick for her head<br />
Eyes too big for her surroundings<br />
Hands too prone to cling<br />
<br />
Born in iniquity<br />
Shrouded under shame<br />
As all children are<br />
Burdened by the world<br />
<br />
Conditioned by a hidden force<br />
To build her own castle<br />
Walls high, base deep<br />
10 feet thick<br />
<br />
Standing in the tower<br />
Always going from a whisper to a scream<br />
“You come in!”<br />
“You stay out.”<br />
<br />
Safety in control<br />
Or so she believes<br />
Small child<br />
Reasoning too small for the opposition<br />
<br />
in<br />
breaks<br />
Love<br />
<br />
With a gust a wind<br />
Swirling, whirling came a song<br />
She heard it from the heights<br />
drowning her voice in its force<br />
<br />
Where did it come from?<br />
Where did it go?<br />
In silence she stood<br />
Small child, holding on to pillars tight<br />
<br />
brick by brick, piece by piece<br />
Her fortress blew away<br />
Stones blazing past her<br />
Burning and blowing and gone<br />
<br />
she fell from her height,<br />
To the ground below<br />
so exposed, so afraid, so<br />
Out of control<br />
<br />
In the distance stood one <br />
Lone brick<br />
Aflame, alight, ablaze<br />
Life radiating<br />
<br />
Upon it was inscribed<br />
“Cornerstone”<br />
and from its words<br />
came a Man<br />
<br />
His eyes white like the center of<br />
A fire and from His <br />
Mouth came a song<br />
Warmth and strength and power<br />
<br />
“Shall I build for you?”<br />
He asked, His words coating her<br />
Small, cold frame<br />
She nods.<br />
<br />
and up<br />
builds <br />
Love<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-66952122915308741022017-07-10T02:03:00.002-07:002017-07-17T04:04:54.487-07:00a House that is Home.<br />
<br />
God of gods.<br />
King of kings.<br />
Totally other than - greater than.<br />
Giant among giants - You are.<br />
<br />
from Your mouth - came winds of life,<br />
swirling, swirling, hovering, making.<br />
from Your hand - came help to the<br />
weary, worn enemy. opposed. heart like grey stone.<br />
<br />
we said help, there You were.<br />
Your light scared away the shadows.<br />
Your light, beams of love, foreign to me.<br />
in that light was Home. You were Home.<br />
<br />
day after day I search the rooms of who You are.<br />
unstoppable expansion of what to Know.<br />
unimaginable extension of what to Taste.<br />
undeniable power radiating these Walls.<br />
<br />
doors leading to gardens leading to You and I.<br />
Your heart this House. Your face this Man waiting for me<br />
so kindly on the bench of ivy.<br />
You are Him, and He is You - but not.<br />
but yes.<br />
<br />
This mystery, it's what brick by brick<br />
built where I find myself.<br />
<br />
I scream, just to see how the sound echoes back.<br />
<br />
Soundwaves transformed into song.<br />
<br />
You sing over me. You take the ashes still lingering on my skin<br />
from the lesser flames of this world.<br />
the kind that char flesh. not like Yours.<br />
<br />
from within Your Fires come purified love.<br />
<br />
You are even making the mess from before into something beautiful.<br />
<br />
I'm here, but there.<br />
I'm in You - your walls stopping the wind,<br />
but You send me out <br />
as you dwell Within.<br />
<br />
We are here, but there, but not.<br />
<br />
Let's stay together, You in me, I in You,<br />
forever.<br />
Fused together, dreaming, doing, extending this kingdom<br />
You are bringing, that which is Here.<br />
<br />
You've won, yet You're winning, yet You'll win.<br />
It's over yet it's not - and I'm in it for the long haul.<br />
<br />
You in me, I in you,<br />
forever.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-54635744963294597172017-07-10T01:47:00.001-07:002017-07-17T04:05:49.863-07:00Awakening - Part 1 <br />
<br />
I awake on my bed, the covers heavy upon me like 50 feet of ocean on top. Some might feel the weight as crushing, but it feels comfortable to my frame - the way a warm bath hugs a weary body. The air outside still cold from the winter wailing. That's what this town calls it - as if the mountains are crying for spring to come. Walls in my room are brick and they welcome in the outside wind as one would welcome in an weary old friend. "Oh, come shelter yourself from the night, bitter wind. Find solace here," the walls utter. I get angry at them, for a moment, as I lie betwixt alertness and dreaming. Then I remember they are only walls, built by the hands of men.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I look at the small glowing space in the door frame that's appearance drew me out of sleep. I fumble out of bed, and my feet hit the floor. I'm not sure who turned the light on so early in the morning, or perhaps so late in the night. Though I'm a grown woman, the eeriness of an empty room - and the single lit lightbulb still causes me to exit my bedroom slowly. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
While looking around, I'm confronted with the swirl of worries that wrapped me so tightly the night before. I often find myself unwinding them as they creep around my heart, even my lungs, like a rapidly growing vine. Sleep can be a sweet escape - until day break comes. Often the prayers, uttered under the breath, while washing dishes or brushing little teeth unwind them as well. Not always. I wonder if it's because the roots are not on the outside, but from within. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
While sifting through thoughts and checking the doors, I notice the door to the back has a small note on it. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"The mountains are calling. Come quickly."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The note is small, and the handwriting rough. I rip it off and look around. Who wrote this? How did they know those words?</div>
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<br /></div>
tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-80805495475679866202016-11-19T22:04:00.000-08:002017-07-17T04:05:57.600-07:00a mother's musings.<br />
<br />
today while working on my little computer screen
a preview for a little boy's movie came on
and my heart exploded and my eyes welled up
because to mother a son is a glorious thing
watching bravery be unearthed from within
and an understanding of a God above him
hover down into his ever-growing heart
i am she who housed his frame as it
grew and grew and grew
a little baby full of fat and promise
and i sustained him by my breast
yet slowly he grew and ran faster than
i could keep up
climbing ladders and jumping off cliffs
or so he thought while sailing from the kitchen chair
to the ground below
swimming under the blankets that hover
as a deep sea diver
exploring and learning what it means
to be a man
and i cuddle him to set him free
into a world that needs men
real men
who don't give up or give in
who love violently and fiercely
and create the things we have only dreamed
who cry out to God, and bend down to hold the hand
of the violated and poor
so today i celebrate the thrilling
and heart wrenching uphill climb
of a boy becoming a man
and a mother calling forth
the fullness
of what that will be.
tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-57832889505455377042016-11-19T21:47:00.001-08:002016-11-19T22:39:36.603-08:00sleeping under contrast.awoke to the foot of my bed<br />
<br />
illuminated
like a sparkler against the holiday night sky<br />
like eyes of a cat, caught in the beam of headlights<br />
like a burning bush, crackling and throwing away it’s spark<br />
without losing flame<br />
<br />
i’m still the same girl, from long ago, in a body stretched and worn<br />
from time, circumstance, small bodies - with small fingers and toes<br />
<br />
i’m still the same woman, curled up under vacant ceilings and barren walls<br />
inwardly reclining into the only Comfort that remains<br />
<br />
eyes like glass, like mirrors, reflecting the flashing light<br />
prisms - always moving to and fro, like empty bowls filling up<br />
fill me up, Oh Ancient glory, let me overflow<br />
<br />
puppetry upon the wall, shadows of myself basking in the light of You<br />
here I am fixated. longing. still inwardly screaming to let You burn me.<br />
<br />
let me reach these tired arms out, out, into the high degree of Love<br />
that i’m charred, ruined, marked<br />
<br />
always awake.<br />
<br />
grand Mystery, making known, to myself, in the moments stretched between awake and asleep<br />
a soul at rest, and You sing to me, from within the Fire, from within the Flame<br />
<br />
You are concrete, that I’ll settle my feet into<br />
<br />
You are flesh and bone, that I’ll let my tears fall onto<br />
<br />
You are radiating light, that I’ll fall down upon<br />
because I’d rather burn with You<br />
and be illuminated<br />
than live a thousand days ruling my own kingdom from a dark, crumbling castle.<br />
<br />
Wake me up again, O Giver of Life. Wake me up again.tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-5821677108667025832015-03-24T16:32:00.003-07:002015-03-24T19:02:56.396-07:00ezekiel cruz valdez [birth story]so much of this story begins the days leading up to it. i feel as if this birth was covered with so much goodness from the Lord, from start to finish. Of course all births are, but this one had a sweetness to it.<br />
<br />
much of the last phase of my pregnancy was very comfortable. even as i hit 40 weeks i was full of energy, and incredibly peaceful. it was almost a peaceful oblivion. Though we didn't know the gender, somewhere in my 39th week the Lord woke me up in the night and spoke very clearly that I would have a son and to name him Ezekiel Cruz. Ricky had already been very passionate about this name, and also was very confident it was a boy. I needed God to speak it to me - and He did with such clarity.<br />
<br />
throughout the days before i was having contractions (is it fair to call them that? maybe slightly cramps), though incredibly mild and only slightly uncomfortable. we walked every day - usually morning and night, and they would come and go with no consistency. sometimes i would have to stop to catch my breath, but for the most part i carried on as usual.<br />
<br />
on saturday, i had hit 41 weeks. i had a couple signs of oncoming labor, but, as with everything in this birth, was holding it all very loosely. perhaps it would be tonight, perhaps not. we had spent the morning at Amos' baseball practice. My mother had flown in the night before, and decided to go to ikea in the evening to do some more walking. we walked around and the cramping picked up - but was incredibly mild.<br />
<br />
by the time we got home i knew that if i continued to move around labor would pick up, but decided to try and rest and let my mom and Ricky rest too. i wanted the kids to go to bed and i wanted to see if i could get any sleep in. by this point i was pretty sure labor would come as soon as i woke up.<br />
<br />
i went to sleep around 11 - having mild, mild contractions (cramping?) maybe every 15 minutes. maybe more outstretched. i didn't time them. i was in and out of sleep, awaking here and there for a contraction - and i would just imagine (as silly as this sounds) lucia stepping on my belly and me asking her to please move, it was uncomfortable for mommy and being patient as she took her time to move. I have no idea where this visualization came from - but it helped with the patience aspect and for me to view the discomfort as any normal daily discomfort.<br />
<br />
around 3, i woke up and knew i was too restless to go back to sleep but not very comfortable taking on the contractions lying down. i got up to take a bath, which was a quick ordeal because i still felt too restless to sit there for any amount of time. everyone was still sleeping, and ricky had moved to the couch sometime throughout the night because he couldn't sleep well. he was too much on alert to go into any deep sleep.<br />
<br />
around 3:30, or 3:45 i finally decided to walk down the hall to where ricky was and let him know they were picking up - i think i began vocalizing a little through the contractions and i timed them to see they were about 10 minutes apart. i asked him to call his parents to just be on guard (they were going to stay with the kids) but they were still too far apart to come, and i also called my midwife to let her know labor had started. i was talking in between, and at some point started hanging around ricky's neck swaying back and forth through each.<br />
<br />
over the next 30 minutes i did some last minute stuff - threw some extra items into the bag, brushed my teeth, etc. i asked ricky to load the car for when we were ready to go. i basically followed him around so i would have him for the contraction. by 4:15, my contractions picked up pretty intensely and i told him he better call his parents to come and tell the midwife we needed to head over. they were 6 minutes apart, maybe, and painful - though seemed incredibly mild to me (and short) - though they were about a minute and a half long. my gauge is pitocin contractions, and these were so mild and manageable i was pretty unaware that i was probably in the most intense part of labor.<br />
<br />
by 4:40 his parents pulled up and i ran down the steps, went through a contraction in the front yard, and leapt into the car. the ride is only around 12 minutes or so, and i cried a little in the beginning saying, "oh i really don't want to do this in the car" and felt a little weepy - i had 3 on top of each other, and started shaking - so i am pretty sure i transitioned during the commute.<br />
<br />
as we turned our last corner i said pretty loudly, "i think i need to push!" and ricky parked right in front of the center. thankfully, my midwife was waiting out front and said, "i started filling the birth tub upstairs." i literally (NO JOKE) ran up the stairs, stood and had one contraction in the bathroom, ricky came up, i sat on the birth ball in between (thinking that would help), but as soon as I had another one, i stood up at the side of the birth tub and said, "i need to push." the bath was filling up, so i was waiting for permission to get in. i pushed a little during that contraction and then climbed in, sat down and had 3 more contractions. the first one the head came out, and 2 more and he was under the water.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CmdoH-OHy2E/VRHyg13RUvI/AAAAAAAAC3s/WshzpJmea_4/s1600/1427238390.653417.IMG_4981.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CmdoH-OHy2E/VRHyg13RUvI/AAAAAAAAC3s/WshzpJmea_4/s1600/1427238390.653417.IMG_4981.JPG" height="802" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i am so thankful my mom caught this moment. it was in between my only two contractions outside of the birthing tub.</td></tr>
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<br />
they pulled the baby up and i cried asking what it was. i saw he was a boy, and it was a very matter of fact reaction in my head, "yes, of course it is." and i pulled him to my chest and started crying saying, "THAT WAS SO EASY!!!!"<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">a blurry moment. so grateful she caught this too. holding little ezekiel for the first time!</td></tr>
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i laugh now, looking back. natural births are suppose to make us feel so strong and empowered. to be honest, my other births proved so much more strength to me. they were much more painful and took way more endurance - both physically and emotionally.<br />
<br />
this one came and went with such grace. i had, what seemed to be, only 15 or so painful contractions. and even then the pain was about a 7 or so compared to the 10 of pitocin induced contractions. my body just did something - and i had little say in it. it was 2 hours from real start to finish. 2 minutes later, i would have pushed him out in the car. 2 days earlier my mom would have missed the entire event.<br />
<br />
i truly believe this birth was God's testament to me of His grace. there is nothing i did in particular that earned me a quick birth. i strived less within this pregnancy and birth and it resulted in the most favorable outcome. it was a pure gift. i held the birth so loosely, set super low expectations, and was given a better birth than i could ever imagine. it was truly, truly a Father pouring out kindness. i believe it was ushered in by a community that prayed so fervently for me and stood by me asking for the birth i had always wanted. i didn't even have enough in me to fight for it, but there were those that encouraged me a long the way. my other two births i was fighting my body to do something it wasn't ready to do (labor) and this one it came and did it before i could even process it!<br />
<br />
i have no wisdom about any of it - only that God is the God of childbirth. He, ultimately, brings forth life. i have had a baby brought into this world in an <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2011/02/birth-story.html" target="_blank">high stress hospitable environment</a>, <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2013/03/birth-story-of-ms-lucia-mercy-he-is.html" target="_blank">a peaceful hospital environment</a>, and now a natural/birth center environment. God has been in each one. He has taught me something about who He was in each one. In the pain and confusion of the first, the frustration and His kindness in the second, and His pure, undeserved grace in the last.<br />
<br />
the moments following were sweet. my dear friend kelly came and processed with me. i felt so loved and so calm. lucia and amos met him and i have never seen such joy on their faces at a new baby brother. i went home a couple hours later and we've been resting/bonding ever since.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ezekiel valdez cruz. 7 lbs 2 oz. 20.5 inches long. born at 5:04 AM on march 22, 2015</td></tr>
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read about my first birth here: <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2011/02/birth-story.html" target="_blank">amos</a> <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2011/04/birth-story-part-1-pre-hospital.html" target="_blank">part 1</a>, <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2011/04/birth-story-part-2-first-day-at.html" target="_blank">part 2</a>, <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2011/04/birth-story-part-3-pitocin-demon.html" target="_blank">part 3</a>, <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2012/03/birth-story-part-4-arrival.html" target="_blank">part 4</a>, and <a href="http://seetheskyline.blogspot.com/2013/03/birth-story-of-ms-lucia-mercy-he-is.html" target="_blank">lucia</a> </div>
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<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-31218404938584630782014-12-23T19:54:00.002-08:002014-12-23T19:59:39.554-08:00Christmas, Christmas - Oh what a glorious time!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
i look down upon two tired hands, made of flesh and bone.<br />
so small, and so worn.<br />
have worked for my own gain, and washed bottomless basins<br />
over and over...<br />
tending to that which will not last.<br />
building up fortresses to my own kingdom.<br />
marred by rejecting the lowing of a Creator<br />
clapping along to the worship of my own renown an praises.<br />
<br />
yet in an instant, behold, the hands so spotted and matted with dirt,<br />
are the same hands that can hold the God of the Universe<br />
born in a humble room<br />
swaddled in a feeding trough<br />
21 inches or so, breathing in and out the very air He spoke into existence.<br />
<br />
All Power and All Glory,<br />
wrapped up in skin, that smells the same as my own.<br />
given as the Greatest Gift,<br />
which fits within my very arms,<br />
His head cradled in my hands.<br />
<br />
what Love, to come bound by time and growth,<br />
just as we had been.<br />
subjected to the assistance of His own creation,<br />
to hold up His head and feed His hungered cries.<br />
<br />
is this the King of the Ages?<br />
not sitting high and aloft, distant,<br />
but entering into the mess and the war of His people.<br />
fully acquainted.<br />
<br />
taking on the sin of humanity 24 hours at a time,<br />
through infancy, toddlerhood all the way until He could fully sympathize.<br />
fully know His kin.<br />
(yes, He welcomed us into His family,<br />
those who rejected the Kindest of all Rulers,<br />
the Humblest of all Kings)<br />
walking until He overcame death.<br />
<br />
peering into a newborn's eyes,<br />
knowing He would complete it all.<br />
33 years of perfection. walking blameless.<br />
his hands, growing to touch the infected,<br />
heal the sick, and raise the very dead.<br />
<br />
hands to wash the feet of those He called friends,<br />
to carry His cross to a hill upon which they would be pierced -<br />
pierced for the dirty, and the lost, and the sinful.<br />
<br />
all GLORY ablaze within this small child.<br />
all BEAUTY raging within a babe.<br />
<br />
hallelujah,<br />
He is Worthy, to come and finish it once and for all.<br />
hallelujah, Christ was born,<br />
Christ died, and Christ rose again.<br />
hallelujah, Christ shall come again.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-90179833333531895852014-05-25T14:17:00.002-07:002014-05-25T14:20:46.687-07:00to remember.sit still, with eyes tied shut. breath in a moment.<br />
chaos before and behind. whirling and twirling.<br />
but if only for a moment, we stop. we remember.<br />
life is more than that which fills the waking hours.<br />
<br />
think upon that which kneads the heart into true beating.<br />
the unison of heaven meeting earth within micro moments.<br />
peering with the eyes of the heart, upon a God who is Holy.<br />
<br />
it's not difficult. it's not for the intellectual or the spiritual.<br />
it's for those who believe.<br />
<br />
see him there, operating in human frame in absolute purity and perfection.<br />
never missing a beat. never acting for self.<br />
power in complete and utter righteousness.<br />
love that protects, and promises, and cleanses.<br />
<br />
even the dirtiest of soul, the wickedest of thought, the most selfish intent<br />
can be washed in Him.<br />
<br />
there is hope for pain, and crippled minds, and broken bones.<br />
there is hope for isolation, loneliness, and failure.<br />
<br />
sit still and peer.<br />
<br />
He does not slumber nor sleep.<br />
He does not turn his back even on the most frustrating of persons.<br />
He only offers Himself.<br />
<br />
over and over<br />
and over again.<br />
<br />
with fierceness and determination and fire.<br />
<br />
the blood is ever flowing.<br />
<br />
remember.<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
there are moments along our journey in life where we are confronted with truly devastating things. we watch those close and far to us suffer. ones get sick. lives are cut short. people are slaves to sin. we see it on a large scale, in war and abuse. we see it on a smaller scale with our brothers and sisters among us. why is victory seem so unattainable for some? why the landscape of deep sorrow, unescaping pain?<br />
<br />
we cannot avoid these realities. and if we only think for but a moment we find hurt among us. within our cities. within our churches. within our very families.<br />
<br />
lives littered with abandonment. orphans never tasting love and acceptance. abuse. evil thoughts. pornography and human trafficking in abundance. racism. abusive legalism. deep rooted rejection. they are our neighbors. our church members. even at times, ourselves.<br />
<br />
i think it's an interesting journey to hold this pain, this tension within our hearts. to not forget. nor grow numb. but to offer them up within ourselves to the God who redeems. Yes, He redeems to the uttermost.<br />
<br />
to live in a way that offers what we can. to preach good news. to serve others and not our own agendas. to offer what we have to the sick and the dying - both in body and spirit.<br />
<br />
to sing the song of the cross. over and over and over and over again. to believe that is works for the fallen brother, the prideful sister, the wandering sheep. to not give up on people. to understand mercy and forgiveness work wonders.<br />
<br />
to believe He is working it all for our good. not only ourselves, but for humanity as a whole.<br />
<br />
<br />
save us, Oh Lord.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="395" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/VPkMbhydU9I" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br /><iframe src="//player.vimeo.com/video/71765067?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0&color=ffffff" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="http://vimeo.com/71765067">“Though You Slay Me” (featuring John Piper)</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/desiringgod">Desiring God</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p><BR><BR>tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-65002255298752876322014-05-22T23:40:00.001-07:002014-05-25T13:56:08.023-07:00He is who He is who He is.<br />
oh to the God who is forever open. arms outstretched.<br />
<br />
as a little girl i remember thinking your feet touched down in front of the choir and you reached past the clouds. perhaps you held the sun. but you didn't burn. your hands were old and wise - wrinkles marked out like the countries of the earth. boundary lines within the creases around the eyes.<br />
<br />
and then they said you lived within. my heart a little home, a hobbit hole for my miniature Jesus. setting the table, and speaking to my head through an olden horn phone.<br />
<br />
you sang me songs and i became a grade school playwright and you were my audience. awake at night, eyes intoxicated by the spinning fan and the shadows that crept through the blinds. i wrote stories, and you always applauded. you'd whisper, "this is your best work as of yet."<br />
<br />
soon you were my champion. my hiding place. a cove off the shore, with dry walls and sea shells.<br />
<br />
you came out from within, and down from above. you stood among my comrades and whispered truth. "this is the way. walk in it."<br />
<br />
the closer i came, your hands seemed less ethereal and more full of flesh. blood and bone underneath fingers that had seen labor. no longer bleeding, but still a home from which it poured forth. the river that offered perfection at no cost to me.<br />
<br />
you roared. you swirled around me.<br />
your jaw opened and from within you came the stars.<br />
your eyes opened and i saw, truly, the beginning and the end.<br />
<br />
pain was dwarfed in your presence. under your shadow emotion burst within.<br />
<br />
we smelled the same. you and i. cut from the same cloth. yet within the tension of your being the world existed. within the tension of my frame was a clambering for more.<br />
<br />
more of you. more of myself. myself understood as it was hidden within you.<br />
<br />
my hair blew over my eyes in the tornado of your being. i peered through to a God who was bigger, braver, and much more sure than i ever could be.<br />
<br />
and then you whispered, "i've only just begun."<br />
<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-11645870605193493032014-05-22T22:52:00.003-07:002014-05-25T13:56:14.932-07:00and within me there is the deepest waters.<br />
life is a sea of very simple things. my mind is often filled with the shallowest of tasks. practicality. efficiency. even my parenting is often like a very hot summer day, with sweet little moments of spiritual awareness, though only for a moment. a quick breeze blowing through. in these small pockets i feel deeply. my son shares a childlike strain of thoughts that blows open the caverns of my soul. my toddling daughter leans her little head deep in the warm indention between my shoulder and my collar bone. my husband finds a moment between dinner and dishes to make my frazzled mind erupt in laughter.<br />
<br />
most of the time, MOST of it - i can only swim so deep within the waters of my self before my exhausted frame must come up for air. thoughts are very survival based. get groceries in enough time to get home to their naps to make an edit to wash my hair to paint a picture with the boy to be patient and remember to call my mom.<br />
<br />
and so we don't know how much of us is slumbering, because frankly, we don't have the time to realize. it's as if we are running a race, and the scenery and the onlookers are like a roaring blur. we cannot take them in until we cross the final line, bending down deeply under the crush of our work, and then standing up tall with hands rested upon our head - breathing... really breathing we see. we see again. we see what we did, and who we've become... who we are becoming. we see what it was worth.<br />
<br />
i'm eager to awaken. to see. to rise above the menial (though the glory it holds is great, this we must remember). to find the pieces of me covered with the web of urgencies that never have an end. because, is there EVER an end?<br />
<br />
they don't tell you, do they? if they did, i don't remember. that somewhere in this madness you lose parts of yourself. like an animal shedding skin because it no longer fits.<br />
<br />
old skin goes. and you grow.<br />
<br />
and you wake up a new person. older. wiser. less self absorbed. more resilient. beautified by one year old kisses and the strength your three year old shows when he loves. you lose fresh eyes, and gain a perpetual tiredness that offers perspective.<br />
<br />
even that which slumbers awakens with a pristine understanding of what matters. i mean what really matters.<br />
<br />
i'm not sure when it slows down. when it lets up. when i can bend my body down to come up for air and spin around to see it all. to really see it.<br />
<br />
is it in the restfulness of death. or the independence they'll one day put on - to open up the space.<br />
<br />
and in both we mourn. and in both we celebrate. laying to rest the old me. that sits and feels and thinks and creates without limitation. celebrating the death of self, that never could die until i was given babies. and when the day comes, when i breathe again - i mourn children that no longer fit onto my hip or lie next to me in my bed and ask for stories and back scratches. and i celebrate that we did it. we made it through. and the journey busted open the deepest trenches within us, so we can feel, and create with depth that was never there before.<br />
<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-59693415209914166872013-12-01T10:36:00.000-08:002017-07-17T02:01:02.990-07:00Christmas Advent<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9CHcAckwOws/VHyrXpSSgAI/AAAAAAAAC0M/IRyD9bjvKuU/s1600/IMG_1894.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="800" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9CHcAckwOws/VHyrXpSSgAI/AAAAAAAAC0M/IRyD9bjvKuU/s1600/IMG_1894.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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I wanted to make a post about the Christmas Advent Calendar I created for our family last year. Even though it's already the first, it's never too late to start one. We started about 5-6 days late last year, and just did a couple a day until we caught up - and it is now my favorite part about Christmas. I start looking forward to it months before!<br />
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Most of the materials I have I bought the day after Christmas back in 2012 on clearance at either World Market (<a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/gold+and+silver+glitter+wooden+clips%2C+set+of+2.do?&refType=&from=Search" target="_blank">here are the clips</a>) or Target (a lot of links for material ideas are at the bottom of the post). I then constructed the Advent out of the materials the following Christmas season. You don't have to use the tags, etc. - use whatever you have. You can cut out stars from paper bags, or squares out of construction paper.<br />
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Each morning Amos unties the next verse and we read it together. I read the original passage, and then paraphrase it for him and Lucia to fully understand. Then Lucia and Amos take turns opening the small envelope and we then have an activity for the day or a small gift!<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XA3QSZySRJk/VHysC-NVIuI/AAAAAAAAC0s/vhj34yFwLpE/s1600/1417452889.702501.IMG_3079.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XA3QSZySRJk/VHysC-NVIuI/AAAAAAAAC0s/vhj34yFwLpE/s1600/1417452889.702501.IMG_3079.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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THE TOP TWO ROWS:<br />
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The top two rows are an envelope for every day. I just took a rectangle cut out of a trader joe's back, stapled two sides shut and left a slit open. Inside I had cut out circles of construction paper that had either a Christmas Activity or an "Open A" - a letter that corresponded with a small gift.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fj4LJFYuOx0/VHysCq05BoI/AAAAAAAAC0k/LJjG6qD3USk/s1600/1417452888.869283.IMG_3078.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fj4LJFYuOx0/VHysCq05BoI/AAAAAAAAC0k/LJjG6qD3USk/s1600/1417452888.869283.IMG_3078.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-x2uKdGPNbR8/VHysEPJX06I/AAAAAAAAC08/MkKpUOBtAdg/s1600/1417452891.373387.IMG_3083.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="800" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-x2uKdGPNbR8/VHysEPJX06I/AAAAAAAAC08/MkKpUOBtAdg/s1600/1417452891.373387.IMG_3083.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--ETrjJbpie4/VHysI8g4HMI/AAAAAAAAC1s/1ZSyOyblhso/s1600/2014-Advent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="494" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--ETrjJbpie4/VHysI8g4HMI/AAAAAAAAC1s/1ZSyOyblhso/s1600/2014-Advent.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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THE BOTTOM ROW:<br />
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The bottom row was tags left to right, that had the day of December as well as a verse or passage that was unveiling the story of Jesus' Birth! You can get a calendar to download <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0ByeEAbcibzcyU29hQ3V2cWNubE0/view?usp=sharing" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hZ0x6i325-g/VHyra1I2tKI/AAAAAAAAC0U/ahwxMnAYu48/s1600/IMG_1895.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hZ0x6i325-g/VHyra1I2tKI/AAAAAAAAC0U/ahwxMnAYu48/s1600/IMG_1895.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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These are the presents from last year. I bought a lot of small stuff from World Market and kept them on the table.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--eYl_71i4gk/VHysGf06dhI/AAAAAAAAC1Q/xt1mXNUcwR0/s1600/1417452894.878602.IMG_3085-2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--eYl_71i4gk/VHysGf06dhI/AAAAAAAAC1Q/xt1mXNUcwR0/s1600/1417452894.878602.IMG_3085-2.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mhrdyH_GMYw/VHysF-wHrhI/AAAAAAAAC1I/WdAyDIt3ZBM/s1600/1417452894.123610.IMG_3088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mhrdyH_GMYw/VHysF-wHrhI/AAAAAAAAC1I/WdAyDIt3ZBM/s1600/1417452894.123610.IMG_3088.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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This year I often had two small gifts for each child on a given day so they were put under the tree. (Lucia insisted she posed with the presents.)<br />
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As I organize the gifts/activities I make a calendar of what is going on for the month, and when is the best time for certain crafts or activities. I leave a larger gift ($10) for Christmas Eve, and try to coincide free days with the more involved activities such as taking a photograph with Santa. I also like to remember what will be happening because once they are inside the envelopes I forget! There is also the corresponding letter of gift in the bottom right hand corner. The red texts are gifts to open and the green texts are activities to do! Here is a <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0ByeEAbcibzcyQ0FuZEJaVFZGYnM/view?usp=sharing" target="_blank">blank calendar</a> you can print out and fill out!<br />
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This year's calendar looks like this:<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P4vBPrsOCAo/VHysITmKQ0I/AAAAAAAAC1o/w4w0eo6_QgA/s1600/2014-Advent-CAL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="494" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-P4vBPrsOCAo/VHysITmKQ0I/AAAAAAAAC1o/w4w0eo6_QgA/s1600/2014-Advent-CAL.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Some of the activities we included this year are on the above calendar, but here they are for reference:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Make Christmas Cookies</li>
<li>Make a Birthday Card for Jesus (the real reason for the celebration!)</li>
<li>Shop for the gifts we give away annually to a refugee family within our community</li>
<li>Visit Santa and get a photograph (we aren't big on santa, but I still like to do this every year)</li>
<li>Give our presents to the refugee family at our church Christmas Experience </li>
<li>Build a Christmas Fort and Watch a Christmas Movie in our Christmas Pajamas (opened on third)</li>
<li>Make Presents/Cards for dad, sibling, and other family members (opened markers that day)</li>
<li>Wrap Presents from previous day and do a Nativity Craft</li>
<li>Write a Letter and Draw a Picture for a missionary from out of our church</li>
<li>Pick one of our favorite toys to wrap and give to Jesus - we wrap it and lay it under the tree and then we will give it away (I tell the story of the 3 Magi bringing their gifts) </li>
<li>Bake a Birthday cake for Jesus </li>
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Some present ideas:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Dollar Bins from Target</li>
<li>Prepackaged Christmas crafts from Target/Craft Stores</li>
<li>Stickers, Tattoos, Puzzles</li>
<li>Christmas Socks</li>
<li>Christmas Pajamas</li>
<li>Christmas Ornament they hang out tree</li>
<li>Travel Activity if you will be traveling for Christmas </li>
<li>Coloring Books</li>
<li>Christmas Candy </li>
</ul>
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Another tradition we have is to save all our Christmas Cards from previous years, and pick one out sometime throughout the day (usually dinner) and pray for that family and ask God if there is anything He is asking us to do to bless them (write them a letter, make them a small gift, pray for a prophetic encouragement, etc.). </div>
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Hope you enjoy!!! Merry Christmas!</div>
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idea links for: string to hang <a href="http://www.target.com/p/holiday-curling-ribbon-gold-white-silver/-/A-15605541#prodSlot=_1_70" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="http://www.target.com/p/holiday-glitter-ribbon-silver-gold-assorted-styles/-/A-15611188#prodSlot=_1_16" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.target.com/p/holiday-6-end-ribbon-red-silver/-/A-15611182#prodSlot=_1_5" target="_blank">here</a> /// clips to hang <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/gold+and+silver+glitter+wooden+clips%2C+set+of+2.do?&refType=&from=Search" target="_blank">here</a> /// tags for verses <a href="http://www.target.com/p/holiday-foil-can-o-tags-50ct/-/A-15611219#prodSlot=_2_20" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="http://www.target.com/p/holiday-luggage-gift-tag-10ct/-/A-15611234#prodSlot=_2_15" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="http://www.target.com/p/holiday-chalkboard-tag/-/A-16185603#prodSlot=_2_19" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/woodland+winter+soiree+gift+tags%2C+set+of+6.do?&refType=&from=Search" target="_blank">here</a> & <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/scandi+ornaments+gift+tags%2C+6-pack.do?&refType=&from=Search" target="_blank">here</a> /// gift ideas <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/ink-a-doo+tattoo+pen+set.do?&from=fn" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/make+your+own+snow+globe+kit.do?&from=fn" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/paint+your+own+ornaments+craft+set.do?&from=fn" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.worldmarket.com/product/invisible+ink+picture+and+game+books%2C+set+of+2.do?&from=fn" target="_blank">here</a> ///tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-84150127808184762302013-09-26T15:25:00.000-07:002013-09-26T15:51:57.549-07:00amos turned 2 (almost a year ago) and had a train birthday. yes, i'm a little behind.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm starting to plan my sweet boy's 3rd birthday. THIRD BIRTHDAY. As is standard in mom dialogue, this is absolutely insane to me. This train of "growing up" is happening way too fast - and it's thrilling and saddening all at the same time. </div>
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His birthday party requests this year have already transformed multiple times from dinosaurs, to planes, to construction trucks, to helicopters, and now we have landed on Safari Animals - which I am super pumped about.</div>
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That being said, I realized I never blogged Amos' last birthday. I didn't get many good pictures... but it was such a joy to plan. His first birthday stressed me out, but I learned a lot and last years was much easier - with the addition of pinterest which makes planning anything and everything easier.</div>
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His party was trains and that was his current boy obsession. It was thrown at my in-laws home, as we were still cooped up in our tiny one bedroom city apartment. I am very excited to be throwing it on my own turf this year!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my little conductor. everyone got a bandana scarf [<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bandanas-Dozen-units-pack-cotton/dp/B0054RL652/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380234137&sr=8-1&keywords=orange+bandana" target="_blank">amazon</a>], hat [<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Childs-Cotton-Train-Conductor-Hats/dp/B001AO13TM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380234208&sr=8-1&keywords=train+hat" target="_blank">amazon</a>], and whistle [<a href="http://www.amazon.com/DOMAGRON-Novelty-IN-27-937-Dozen-Whistles/dp/B00408K8P0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1380234190&sr=8-2&keywords=train+whistle" target="_blank">amazon</a>] in their gift bag along with other treats.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">banner made by me. find similar birthday party paper goods <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/MulberryPrintShoppe?ga_search_query=train" target="_blank">here</a>.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">part of the drink station. nothin' too fancy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">pom poms from <a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/265163/pom-poms-and-luminarias-how-to" target="_blank">martha stewart tutorial</a>. wrapped wooden letters with yarn. made all the print outs. and my mom sewed the little gift bags. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">train tracks with electrical tape. sorta permanently stained their carpet, so try an inconspicuous area first!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">he seems like such a small baby here...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">so exhausted after his big event.</td></tr>
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<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-28796421460368609732013-09-25T21:12:00.002-07:002013-09-25T21:22:39.782-07:00i think i love my iPhone.............'s camera.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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my poor iPhone bit the dust... as in, got ran over at 75 miles per hour on the San Diego interstate. wah wah wah. not having my phone is quite liberating in some senses - being the introvert i am, it's a nice escape from connectivity. the thing i miss the most, however, is the camera. i actually might call myself an iPhone photographer. a boring one, yes. as i only photograph my children, and the occasional delicious cup of coffee. that being said, it has become my main creative outlet as a mother. my blog is a hit or miss. my shop is pretty much nonexistent. but my little phone, it's attached to me and has become the tool in which i chronicle my life. i use that little camera to transform my mundane moments (and wow! there are a TON of them) into spectacular microseconds. for me, it really has the power to help me see the beauty in the chaos that is my life.<br />
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often times i hear people complain about how social media gives an unhealthy view of people's lives. "people only show the good, pretty side of things." i still can't seem to understand why this is so terrible. i'm not one easily prone to comparison nor judgement (though i'm prone to a lot of other sins, believe me) - so i celebrate people taking the best of their day and sharing it with the world. no one wants to see my dirty bathroom, or my greasy messy bun, or my burnt pot of beans - or if they do, perhaps only for a glimpse here and there for the purposes of reality. but everyday? that would be exhausting. but maybe someone, somewhere wants to see the afternoon light casting a shadow on the one spot on my floor not covered in toys - and my son, for a brief, brief moment playing blissfully by himself at the kitchen table. maybe my little iPhone helps me pluck out the most beautiful, thrilling, and intimate moments of motherhood and sings a little tune that counteracts the world's message that a young mother is throwing away her talent, her freedom, and her "fun."<br />
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i don't know, for me, my iPhone camera does this for me. and instagram is my little microphone. it's an artist mother's canvas. it's quick, easy, accessible and i can tote in my diaper bag. it's my little voice.<br />
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anyway. R.I.P. iPhone 5s.<br />
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<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-60726644707891225112013-09-08T14:36:00.002-07:002013-09-08T15:06:02.112-07:00i'm almost 27 and here's a list of 10 things i've learned.<br />
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sometimes I find myself in utter shock that I am a 27 year old woman (almost, almost) and a mother of not one, but two children. I pay a mortgage. I am 3 short years away from 30. <br />
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my son has escaped babyhood, and my daughter can move about freely on her own.<br />
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remembering my teen years, and my early twenties - and what I was convinced these years would look like. what I thought was greatness, or God's plans and intentions, or the apex of adulthood and Christianity. <br />
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I thought it would be both wise and humorous to create a list of things I've learned about "life" over the past 2 decades. this is wise, as perhaps it can bring some aid to someone, somewhere. it is also very, very silly as I am sure, by the end of the next 2 decades I will chuckle at some of these thoughts. I am still a child. I am a teacher forever learning.<br />
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1.) A man who will be a good husband should possess the following qualities.<br />
- The ability to hold a job, whether he enjoys it or not. He must be able to respect and honor authority, be honorable when no one is watching, and be convinced God is His provider.<br />
- He must be humble enough to admit when he is wrong (even if not immediately, but at least, eventually) and be willing to be trained and taught.<br />
- He must be willing to be an open book. His phone, his email, his business meetings, his work relationships, his sin, his joys, his fears, and his dreams must be something he welcomes you into.<br />
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2.) Please do not, DO NOT, spend what you do not have. It's a messy thing to do.<br />
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3.) Train yourself to eat well. Find vegetables you like. Drink water. Go for walks. <br />
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4.) Don't let nature escape from your life. Go into it as often as you can. Take walks during your breaks rather than checking your phone. Camp. Swim. Sit under a tree. Remember God in the midst of it.<br />
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5.) Every movement of God has value. Every church (that which I am addressing would be the believing church, which proclaims Christ as the Son of God, and the only way to the Father - etc.) has value. Both these things are ushered and made up of broken human beings. Within every movement and church there are those who claim to be brothers, but in fact are not. Because of these facts, every movement and church has the ability to hurt and harm those within it. That is not to say that these are entirely bad, but that is why our hope is ALWAYS Christ and our foundation is ALWAYS the Word. With that we can remain gracious, forgiving, and honoring in the midst of these things - as they come and go.<br />
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6.) Healing is of God. He loves to heal. He will not always heal every time we ask. This should not cause us to give up on healing nor believe it is because we lacked faith. Healing is of God.<br />
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7.) Discipleship is so much the plan of God in growing and developing his people. The New Testament is essentially discipleship written out. Discipleship will not always find you, you must go find it for yourself. Seek wisdom. Seek guidance. Seek counseling. Etc. You were not made to live or figure things out on your own.<br />
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8.) While you are young, I think it is vital to learn these skills: <br />
- Time management. Learn to fill your time, not with iphones, facebook, sleeping, or chattering on about nothing. Fill these precious moments with reading, writing, service, etc. Learn a skill. Find a hobby. Be vigilant in pursuing things of greatness. If nothing else comes to mind, read your Bible over and over and over. One day you will have multiple children, only so many hours of the day, and you will long for those precious, lonely hours again. <br />
- The ability to be a self-starter and self-motivator. This ties into the previous point. Learn to fill your time even if no one has given you an assignment or a deadline. Set your own assignments. Make your own deadlines. <br />
- Conversational skills. Ask people questions about anything and everything. This is how you will make friends. This is how you will form vital business connections. This is how church begins and continues. This IS marriage.<br />
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9.) The greatness of your life - is made up of little moments, seconds that turn into hours that turn into days. It is not one epic ministry opportunity. It is not even the wedding nor the birth. It is the hidden in between - found within the 4 walls of your home and the thoughts/motives mulling under the skin. It is the mundane. It is the responses to the husbands when the money is tight and the agitations brew. It is the disciplining, for the hundredth time, the same sin within your child. It is the coffee in the morning to which your heart overflows, "Today, today - I believe You are good, You are real, You are worthy." <br />
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10.) We do not find God. Therefore, we do not need to feel pressured to make life with Christ more appealing or more fun or more thrilling. God finds us. Provokes our hearts to believe. Keeps us. The call to follow Christ is a hard one, it is one that will include hardship, trial, and suffering. It can - at times - be isolating, confusing, and require longsuffering. It, however, WILL be rewarded. It WILL be (even now IS) worth it. and even if nothing would come of it (though it will) He is WORTHY of our devotion. That is why the gospel is simple and powerful. It is simple in what it requires of us in proclaiming it, which is exactly that - just PROCLAIMING IT. It is powerful in that it is where the platform is given for God to provoke a heart. Your work is to proclaim. His work is to make Jesus seen as that which He is, glorious, beautiful, and the Savior to the sinning heart.<br />
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xo a 26 year old woman with a lot to learn.<br />
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<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-50631839678138023722013-08-21T16:18:00.001-07:002013-08-21T16:32:50.477-07:00he's taking my white, middle-class life and working it for His glory - in ways I had never expected. <iframe allowfullscreen="" height="421" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/71907634" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br />
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i am more convinced than ever that the heart has seasons. seasons of grief and of joy. seasons of discipline and of working. seasons of dancing and of learning.<br />
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i have walked with the Lord for almost 20 years - only by His grace towards me. i have been listening, learning what it means to love Him and to live for His glory. i have been in different churches, ministries, friendships, and communities. His sovereignty has made it all work towards my good - I see His leadership sprinkled through out each step. It is leading to something powerful, or perhaps, it's forever writing a story, to which in the end - He will shine brightly.<br />
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i have been confused, disheartened, disillusioned, disobedient. i have been enchanted, enamored, permanently altered, and ultimately convinced.<br />
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the former was because of my weak frame, my feeble mind, and my misunderstandings. the more i grow, the more i am confident He is good. He is worthy of every nation and tribe and tongue. even for the rocks to cry out to proclaim His glory. He isn't done yet. He is coming soon. He is the King of the ages, of the nations, of the hearts of men.<br />
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here i am in a season of awakening. grateful for each time i've walked out of pain, or longing, or the mundane to see Him, and even more FEEL Him - those winds that roar around the throne, those whispers among the Trinity stirring my soul. the past seasons were for a reason as they birth seasons such as that which i find myself in.<br />
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a particular message is ruminating in my heart: how does the gospel pertain to that which i find myself in - cultural and racial divisions (something i've been swimming in, to some degree, since meeting Ricky) and also the current situation of the black community, especially those in the low-income, urban areas. i find myself in a home situated in the most crime-ridden neighborhood of San Diego. it has been titled "a war zone."<br />
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here i am. Christ in me, my hope of glory. His finished work on the cross applies to these streets and these people.<br />
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it's not an easy thing for a white woman, one raised in the midwest middle-class to speak on such issues. it's frightening, in all honesty, as i lack any authority and understanding in and of myself.<br />
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but Christ in me. He has something to say to it. He has a hope for the statistics that should cause us, regardless of our skin or socio-economic status, to weep. cause us to arise. the plight of the poor, the plight of the oppressed - rather through personal sin or structural fault - is calling for the church to arise.<br />
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i've written and erased many posts on this specific arena. i've been reading and rereading John Piper's specific thoughts in his book, "Bloodlines." (you can download it for free at <a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/download-bloodlines-for-free" target="_blank">this link</a>.) he, of course, says things much clearer than i ever could.<br />
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but still this burns within me, the call to embrace the ugliest parts of our streets and cities. i lack words, and even understanding of what that will ultimately look like for each individual, but my heart is <i>feeling</i>. praying He is birthing something within me that i can eventually bring more eloquence to. i hope.<br />
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this is only to say, He has been good to me. He has weaved every moment into something real within me. i am thankful He has not abandoned me, but given me all I need for life and godliness. i am thankful seasons change - the winters leaves fall to give room for the buddings of spring.<br />
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i am thankful to be so involved with such issues, to hear them outside my window at night, which has made a deaf ear impossible.<br />
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and most of all, i'm thankful this isn't the end of the story. He will make the wrong things right - through His church, and eventually through His glorious return - to which my heart explodes. Yes, the wrong things shall be made right.<br />
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<br />tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-56337548068625920532013-08-20T13:07:00.002-07:002013-08-20T13:13:38.497-07:00lucia mercy @ 5 months old<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wtFF3ZvWJHs/UhPIdCbve-I/AAAAAAAACtk/Ep_eNLHUzjU/s1600/tribal2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wtFF3ZvWJHs/UhPIdCbve-I/AAAAAAAACtk/Ep_eNLHUzjU/s640/tribal2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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total lucia overload, but i had to document this cute little photoshoot I did for trendy ragz, a mom-owned online business with cute little people clothes!!! check it out <a href="http://www.trendyragz.bigcartel.com/" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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lucia is 5 months old, she is sitting on her own (tumbles if she sees a toy she wants out of reach). she rolls every which ways. loves sitting in her high chair and gnawing on books and watching momma cook or amos play with play-do. </div>
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she isn't eating yet, and still wakes up to nurse. starts on in crib (swaddle, rock combo still works like a charm) and ends up in the bed. she wakes up generally happy from nap and cuddles with her little crotched stuff bunny. she LOVES watching her brother and getting aggressive toddler kisses. she smiles and laughs so easily now, and is an easier going baby than amos. she doesn't crawl, but seems like it will happen soon. </div>
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she babbles to herself and sometimes amos picks out "words" she sounds like she is saying. "momma, momma! she said "boy hello." </div>
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the joy of her life is amos, honestly. it's such a wonderful thing.</div>
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okay i'm thinking 5 months is one of the best ages (i end up saying that about every age, but really...). moving around, sitting up on their own, babbling, googling eyed, nursing, laughing, not yet eating, still light to hold - the sweet window before discipline and defiance. ;) it's a really sweet season for a babe.</div>
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oh! and she finally got that pesky first tooth. you can sorta, kinda, barely, not really see it in the last picture. she cut it effortlessly - like a true lady. ;)</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ORm_0A-Kf6w/UhPM1NsnapI/AAAAAAAACuk/sOmL40g2lr8/s1600/1175094_10151887576680739_1578376509_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ORm_0A-Kf6w/UhPM1NsnapI/AAAAAAAACuk/sOmL40g2lr8/s640/1175094_10151887576680739_1578376509_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">oh and this iphone picture is just priceless. i feel it represents her little joyful personality the best!</td></tr>
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tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4112844758233138228.post-24790339592427019282013-06-17T14:56:00.001-07:002013-06-17T14:59:17.641-07:00the tenery family, the beach, and the family of Godthe beautiful Tenery family came to visit this weekend. we took their daughter Shiloh to see the big ocean and amos got to run around fully clothed in the sand and waves.<br />
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i am so thankful for ones i have known for many years (i've known kyle for about 8, and ricky has known maria for 10!) and i have been able to watch them grow in God and remain steadfast by His grace. it's such an encouraging thing - the family of God! they are some of the most dedicated, brave, true and steady people i have encountered. they love the Word, God's people, and proclaim the gospel with such boldness.<br />
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and their daughter is just PURE joy and delight. such a honor to spend the time we did with them.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9069610136/" title="photo 2 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="photo 2" height="480" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2856/9069610136_15729baec2_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9069611728/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="photo 4 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="photo 4" height="480" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2832/9069611728_4d31d05bc6_z.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shiloh is a little unsure about the big waves...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067335777/" style="font-size: medium; text-align: -webkit-auto;" title="IMG_1140 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1140" height="427" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3820/9067335777_b64b4acaa5_z.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067366649/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="IMG_1139 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1139" height="426" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7407/9067366649_2b4585dd97_z.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">feeling sand for the first time</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067338075/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="IMG_1121 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1121" height="995" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2824/9067338075_265ffa8980_b.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the beautiful tenery family. </td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067335049/" title="IMG_1149 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1149" height="424" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3801/9067335049_757ab3f272_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067336847/" title="IMG_1134 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1134" height="411" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3700/9067336847_07ab31b711_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067337621/" title="IMG_1123 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1123" height="412" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7430/9067337621_f0df81ebd6_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067337051/" title="IMG_1126 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1126" height="411" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2853/9067337051_8765dc404a_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067384329/" title="photo 1 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="photo 1" height="480" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5517/9067384329_7e1303f2b2_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067339777/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="IMG_1102 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_1102" height="427" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7405/9067339777_910f625bcf_z.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">asleep on her momma...<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067382069/" style="font-size: medium; text-align: -webkit-auto;" title="photo-3 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="photo-3" height="480" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2827/9067382069_33b8e6b77e_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<tr><td><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/65596187@N06/9067383825/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: -webkit-auto;" title="photo 5 by seetheskyline, on Flickr"><img alt="photo 5" height="896" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3666/9067383825_33424d4eed_b.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">amos finally comfortable in the ocean this season. takes a couple beach trips each summer for him to warm up to it.</td></tr>
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tiffany__dawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12328816265257464821noreply@blogger.com0