so i began to calculate finances once our dear sweet baby is born.
let me tell you - THAT WAS INTENSE.
i'm not sure how we'll make it, but when i bombarded my precious husband with all the details
the minute i rushed through the door
he patiently listened and reminded me of the promises and character of God.
how thankful i am for him!
when one of us is freaking, the other one is rock solid.
the joy of having another person around.

these thoughts have made our eventual kansas city move that much more real.
setting dates (if jobs come along), and discussing how we'll make the move.
it's a while away, and not set in stone, but i'm a planner (though only my husband may know this)
and i love to know what and how things are going to roll out.

to live simply, in the context of community, taking part in something my heart believes in - is the ultimate season of glee. 

i took some lame belly pics.
but i guess it's good to document, even when there's only a little pooch there (probably more fat than  baby!).
this is me at 11 weeks (pretty much almost 12 weeks - but that's neither here nor there)

hopefully next week ricky can take some non-headless ones... haaaaaaa.

time for dishes!

the Lord is gracious and compassionate. slow to anger and rich in love.

what a beautiful statement. what hope it is for our lives.
THERE IS HOPE! THERE IS HOPE!

i had an incredible weekend. i forgot our camera so i missed a lot of moments, but hopefully someone else captured them. alex's shower was delightful. the best part was hanging out with the planning committee. we had such a fun time decorating and tearing down and what not. it was fun to see it all turn into reality.

my sister's shower was sunday, and was also delightful. the reality of her baby, AND MINE, is... well... not yet a reality. But once kyan comes into this world, I think I'll grasp that my sister is REALLY a mommy. so insane!

it's also been a week of, "wow... ricky, i am SO in love with you." i just can't get enough of him! i'm cracking up every second we are together... i just want to talk to him about everything and anything (more than usual, which trust me, is alot)! i am just enjoying my husband to the highest possible degree. not that i don't always enjoy him, but this week we are on cloud 9. i probably owe it to 3... no 4! things:

1.) Reading Mystery of Marriage always awakens my heart to the absolute beauty, holiness, and spirituality that is found within marriage. When I remember something is connected to the heart of God, or that something can connect me to the heart of God, I fall wayyyyyyyy more in love with it.

2.) Being away from him always makes me appreciate him that much more. I couldn't fall asleep all weekend. I was a MESS at the airport. And the sweetness of the weekend can never be AS sweet as when he's around.

3.) I'm exiting my first trimester and feel like a normal human being again. I have a relative amount of energy... I'm not on the brink of throwing up every second of every day... and I actually am able to spend time with him when he comes home at 9 oclock at night.

4.) JESUS! He's so alive! And my heart is so tender right now... Conversations with Jenny and Courtney... Little dreams and whispers in the night... the beauty of the Word... all are ulling me from a season of fatigue on all levels. When Jesus moves my heart, my heart is moved toward Ricky more and more.

It's crazy how falling in love is a neverending journey. I just love it!



Thursdays=My Friday! Hallelujah. Have a joy-filled weekend.





OH! And it's my beloved Mom's birthday today. I just love to celebrate her life!

well well well.
life is lovely.
so much is happening, and so much to do. i think i'm showing a little, though anyone whose pregnant will tell you most definitely you are not showing and it is impossible to show this early. i don't care much. ricky has seen my belly every day for 9 months, and is convinced beyond words it's sticking out. and it can't be fat, because i think i've lost some weight since becoming pregnant due to my 24/7 morning sickness.

in other news, i'm counting down the days until my 2nd trimester. i'm hoping it's the glory season everyone claims it to be. this past 2 months have definitely been the most trying time physically i have ever been through - which is a big statement because i have had constant digestive problems since before i can remember. oh the things women can endure.

enough with my body. ricky is the sweetest husband in the world. i had an emotional breakdown last night, about everything and nothing, and wept for over and hour as ricky held me and just prayed for my little heart. this was after working+school a 15 hour day. he's a hero.

i listened to misty edwards latest cd on a roundtrip 1.5 hour drive yesterday. the songs are old, but the movement it caused in my heart was fresh. i wept as i remember my painful state of hunger and thirst is an act of love to God. i was reminded my love, though weak, is real in His eyes. i'm a failure at much, but atleast i'm still reaching.