relearning, learning, and a heart of gratitude.

things i forgot:

1.) recovery from a birth + stitches is intense. i hate lying around. i hate dishes in my sink. and i hate not being able to DO. thankfully i feel normal again, but - uhhhh. that resting phase seemed long.
         + recovering with a VERY active toddler boy was hard too. mostly because i didn't get to spend much time with him the first week or so. he would only sit with me for a handful of minutes - and then he was off running around. i wanted to run around with him!

2.) newborns go through diapers SOOOOOOO fast. i forget to change poor little lucia.

3.) newborns sleep A LOT.
        + i know they always say it, but i look back at when i first had amos and giggle at how much time i actually had. amos went to my in-laws for the afternoon and i got more done then i probably have in 6 months. lucia slept and i blogged, cleaned, etc. i know breastfeeding for the first time, and transitioning into caring for another life is intense... but it's true you'll always probably get busier than you are currently as your family grows.

4.) i love breastfeeding because you can eat for days and days and DAYYYSSSSS

things i'm learning:

1.) lucia isn't like amos. amos would fall asleep nursing. when lucia is done, she is DONE and wants to be rocked to sleep. this is just one of the millions of differences i'm sure will start to appear.

2.) amos yearns to have misbehavior addressed immediately. i think he feels much more comfortable and safe when i do more than say "no," but actually set the baby down (even if she is fussing) and address disobedience. afterwards there is a peace and calm - as if he feels, "yes, yes - she is still there."

3.) to let ricky do much more with lucia than with amos. for the first couple months amos was at my chest a majority of the time - and it did fit his little personality. but with lucia, i just can't do it - and so she is learning quickly to be comforted by both of us. i love it. ricky loves it. he rocked her to sleep last night.

4.) sometimes skipping the nap, and putting amos down around 7 (where he goes out fast and hard) is worth it - even if it breaks routine (something i'm not too fond of). he's not napping very easily, as he is wanting to cuddle and i generally can't if lucia isn't sleeping. it's not worth the fight. an hour of quiet time, and then back to playing.

trying to nap.
STILL trying to nap...
finally surrendered the other day, but it was already 4:30 PM. eeek!
5.) no one told me how hard it would be for ME to transition from one to two. i did all i could to prepare amos for the change, i didn't think i would be the emotional basket case i was. i have spent almost every day of my life for the past 2.5 years hanging out and cuddling with my little boy. to not see him for 2 days while in labor, and then not really getting to spend time with him while i recovered was the most emotionally intense thing i've experienced in years. it was good. the Lord ministered to me through it immensely. but oh boy, what will i do when he goes to college?! Father, give me grace!

things i'm grateful for:

1.) meals. i have had meals delivered to me by the kindest of friends and community for the past 4-5 days, and have meals signed up for another week or so. when busy moms go out of their way to prepare an extra meal and deliver it - you understand the sacrifice that time took. i am sooooo grateful (and so is ricky!).

2.) family. venting to my sister and her reassurance. mom checking in and coming oh so soon! the sweet sweet letter my dad wrote to amos about his entrance into "big brotherhood" - makes me cry thinking about it. my sister-in-laws who take amos to the park and out and about so he doesn't go crazy. my mother and father in law who dropped everything the day i went into labor until we got home to make our transition smooth (especially amos'). and my incredible husband, who balanced a crazy work deadline the week lucia was born, school projects, and being an awesome daddy - all while listening to my hormones go insane while i cried and cried about missing amos.

ricky's sister alissa holding lucia.

3.) slings/ergos/moby. i think this will be my survival.

4.) the Lord's kindness and gentleness is leading me in my mothering.



  1. you are amazing. it is hard to go from one to two but it will be so great to see as lucia gets older and how they interact together. Adeline and Aurora literally scream at each other and laugh. and attack each other in the bath. there is nothing like your sibling.

    1. thanks for being a mama i can watch and learn from!!! you are one of the most joyful mothers i know, and it is so inspiring.

  2. you're looking amazing mama! i realized, after becoming a mama, that most people weren't honest with me about how their life REALLY was. and the only "perfect" will be the one you end up finding/creating for you and your family. thank you for being honest about where you're at ... being real is a beautiful quality!

    p.s. your children are absolutely darling.


    1. vulnerability is a beautiful thing. i am so in love with it too. ;)


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