and in this home - He shall reign.

i remember growing up, spending the night at friend's house, or going over to play. and in each place, and within each family there was such uniqueness.

my dear friend emily's family always made homemade pizza together - rolling out the dough, picking the toppings. afterwards, we got to finish by dipping the extra pepperoni's in the extra sauce and put them in our bellies. they also always kept the kitchen dark and cool, and we'd eat otter pops on our pool breaks in her back yard.

my cousin tara's house was always decorated fancy, and we'd eat well presented meals with interesting salad combinations. i remember chewing ice out of her big glass cups, wrapping ourselves in all the afghans found in the den, and listening to classical music as we drifted off to sleep.

i had 2 best friends in grade school who were twins. they were a healthy family, and we'd eat turkey bacon on saturday mornings while watching cartoons. they always had fresh cans of Sunny D in their basement refrigerator, and we'd hide ourselves in the built in trunks along the walls. their mom always worked out early in the morning, and we'd always find adventures around the neighborhood with our guy friends who lived up the hill.

my friend lisa always had a snack drawer full of oreos and potato chips. her mom always made homemade chicken noodle soup from scratch, and they had pet ferrets. we'd roller skate around her pool table in the basement, and make soups out of sticks and mud in her back yard.

my friend alex's house was out in the country by a small lake. we'd find craft project ideas in american girl magazines, and find ways to make our hair lovelier or her room prettier. her mom always sang hillsong worship songs in the morning before we even crawled out of bed, and the sun always shone through her big windows onto the carpeted floor where her dog would lounge.

i think it's interesting to think i am now a family. i have my own home, my husband and a son. and the choices i make now will form who my family is and the home in which memories will be formed. 20 years from now, the stories Amos has to tell and the man he's become will be largely created based on the mother i choose to be.

i don't want memories of t.v. shows or movies. i don't want memories of my reluctance to serve ricky or my impatience with his short comings. i don't want memories of food from boxes or internet surfing.

i want him to remember music that exalted the Lord continually filling our home. i want memories of family worship time. i want him to remember the Word. i want him to remember prayer. i want him to remember growing up within the four walls of our small house of prayer - running around with the other children under the blanket of His presence.

i want him to remember laughter, home cooked meals, long walks, art projects, books and books and books, trips to his grandparents both 20 minutes away and 20 hours away.

i want him to remember ramses, the smell of incense, the sound of his mother playing piano and his dad strumming the guitar. i want him to remember our ability to embrace meekness and repentance as he encounters our own shortcomings as parents. i want him to remember our willingness to utter, "i'm sorry, for this isn't how the Father is..."



i woke up yesterday realizing 5 months have passed, and my son is on the one way train to becoming a man, a brother, a husband, a father, and a bondservant. there is a lot about my own life i wish to change - my own daily decisions. in my marriage, in my time spent throughout the day, in my speech, in my attitudes, in my motives. i pray that the Lord gives my heart grace to behold Him even more, to in turn, become holy as He is holy.

i want hunger and thirst for righteousness, for the kingdom come, and for the heart of God to be the theme within my heart and within my home. i want, even in this, for God to be given all the glory.



here's to adulthood. to marriage. to mother hood. and the terribly awesome responsibility to brings.

and here's to a God whose given us all we need for life and godliness. [i love You]