so i'm really not the best writer...
after reading genius blogs like this one
or beautifully composed blogs like this one
i sorta avoid the whole "blog that no one reads" ordeal.


but that's sorta dumb, or to better state it, incredibly dumb, and i think defeats the entire purpose of having a blog. and now that i have written 2 measly paragraphs about "to blog or not to blog" i shall begin.


my thought is: i am pregnant. being pregnant is a whole lot like being engaged. it's this miserable, torturous limbo filled with weird preperations and deep contemplations. i've only known for about 2 weeks - and i already feel like an entirely different human. i can barely stay awake enough to do anything productive, and any smell other than winterfresh gum makes me want to throw up my lunch. they say these are only 1st trimester woes, but who ever knew the joy of motherhood launches on such a painful foot!


but then, of course, you endure. not just because you have to - but because for the first time in your life, your achiness, sickiness, nausea is for a bigger and better purpose which extends even beyond yourself. it's for this other life... this hidden, invisible soul swimming around in your belly. this IMMORTAL being, who will one day, God-willing, call on the name of the Lord, be filled by the Spirit of the Everliving God, and be part of the greatest hour human history has ever known. This unknown being will live FOREVER.


and that makes all the difference.


and i was thinking, how incredibly reckless is seems that God has put the power of procreation in the hands of weak humans. i know that statement could easily become a calvinist's holiday... but regardless of theological murmurings... i could have chosen to get married or not get married. and i think, even with the various divine interventions, we sorta chose when to hold off on having a baby or when to start trying. i mean, there were CHOICES. and utlimately, those choices lead to this immortal human creature who will, God willing, be forever an inheritance to the King of Kings.


The Son truly longs for partners. Co-heirs. Fellow laborers. It is absolutely undeniable - He has even given us entrance into the process of creation. Creation of his family.


Wow.