this is life.

so i haven't done much in the way of a post of substance - besides photographs and tidbits of my life.

and probably because there are few moments to be found sneaking to a computer, thinking deeply, and pouring out thought onto a little blog. most moments alone are found working, working, working, as much design jobs are flooding in, or spending time with the Lord. The latter is much more needed, obviously.

life is beautiful right now. believe me when i say, as i always do, that is it is beautiful.

but beyond beautiful, it has shifted. i moved out to California 2 years ago, having no idea what I was getting myself into. i had found a man worthy enough to pull out the exclamation within me, "i will follow you where you lead." and that is indeed what i did. dropped a place that embodied all i loved and believed in up to that point, and friends that were as family. my most profound and intense experiences with the Lord had happened within the boundaries of a city, and even more, in the boundaries of a 4 walled prayer room - and to leave it felt as if i was ripping a half of my heart and throwing it into the fields of the midwest.

it was in kansas city that i was reborn.

for the second time, it seems, as the Lord had already graced me with regeneration - hallelujah. but more with myself. shaving my head, a story for another day if it has not yet been heard, and even more, embracing such a journey with my dear friend jenny was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. i had found Jesus in the brokeness. i had leaned on Him. and He had spoken, again, but this time not in a meeting or a retreat - but he came and made within me His habitation.

and yes, theologically this is a constant reality for us, but in the sense of AWARENESS - this season was nothing like i had ever known. He was near, and I could feel it, and I was overwhelmed.

so when i packed up my life, my 5 ton piano, and put it in a U-haul to be hauled across the country - i was consumed with the understanding of what I was leaving, but what i was gaining seemed vague and obsolete... besides of course a partner. that is what drove me. that and the prodding within that knew to turn back now would be to disbelieve.

and so here i am 2 years older. i got married, moved in with a man, had a baby, and now find myself in today. i might say it was the most difficult 2 years of my life thus far. not because of the extremes of experience, but mostly because of the lack there of. life was good. mundane. and i had some one to fill the silence. which is good in so many ways, but there were few moments to encounter myself. so when i did, the war of dullness of heart raged on. always.

thankfully 2011 has been good to us. the tides have turned. the seasons have changed, as they always do - for winter can not stay winter for the laws of nature (and God) govern it into spring.

and hallelujah for spring.

we have settled well. we found a church that preaches the gospel and Jesus.

we have the time and resources now to fully embrace the house of prayer here in san diego. we've been welcomed into the team to build it up. we are so thankful to be a part of what the Lord is doing in the earth, in California, and even in our city.

and more so, He is brewing and speaking. old words are being ressurected - and i think for the first time in a long time, as the Sovereign God moves His hand, we are doing what we love and what makes us feel alive.

and to top off such a glorious shifting, i have a son.

and to even begin to write about such a thing is like trying to put the love a husband has for a wife or wife for her husband into words. it cannot be given justice by language alone.

amos is incredible. INCREDIBLE. i could not be more thankful for this life. the mere fact that i can wake up to this little human, destined to live forever, created by God within my womb is proof alone there is a God of love.

and so that is today. and He is good. and i am still convinced, in my innermost being, that He is returning soon. and He is coming to bring justice to the nations. and we will rejoice for the Lamb has come for His own.

amen&amen