An ode to wedding emotions.

So, you spend all this money on wedding photography (wayyyyy too much) and then they are just stored on a hard drive forever. I figured I should post a couple photographs from our wedding. To be honest (and I think I've mentioned this before) - I was very displeased with my wedding photographs. Even a couple months ago I really started thinking about it and started crying to Ricky. He listened and then looked at me with compassion and said, "Babes, you are now happily married and have a little baby son. I don't think those pictures matter much now. And the Lord is good, and speaking, and coming back soon."

A little dose of perspective.

But all of you married women know, if we let our hearts get muddled, we can start having some wedding regret.

And while we are talking about weddings, let me tell you I HATED planning my wedding. I had just moved to San Diego from Kansas City - away from all my friends and family and decided to have my wedding here (still don't understand why I thought that was a great option) in a a city 10x more expensive than my home without an ounce of idea where to start.

It was hard. Our whole engagement season was hard. So hard. There were so many tears. So much stress. I didn't care much about any of it. I didn't care about the food or the flowers or the colors or the logistics. I just wanted to move in with Ricky and start my life. I just wanted my mom or sister or best friends near. I just wanted to learn to love Jesus in this new phase of life - away from IHOP and living with another. 

and I really, really wanted to move back to Kansas City - as soon as possible.

Since then I've learned to live in and love the season I've been handed. It has been a long journey, but I've grown up so much. I don't cling to solitude as much as I did before. I've learned to find Jesus in the mundane. I've embraced the beauty of the sovereignty of the lot I've been given - rather it be new faces, small apartments, holding babies, boring jobs, few friends, or church searching.

"The fundamental thought is the universal government of God. All that comes to you is under His controlling hand. The secondary thought is the favour of God to those that love Him. If He governs all, then nothing but good can befall those to whom He would do good... Though we are too weak to help ourselves and too blind to ask for what we need, and can only groan in unformed longings, He is the author in us of these very longing... and He will so govern all things that we shall reap only good from all that befalls us." - Benjamin B. Warfield

So here is to a beautiful, yet trying season of wedding madness that lead to my simple life with the man I love and a son of promise. Amen.

And in it all - His goodness was shining.

 

My favorite, the Polaroids, can be found here and here.

 

here's to love and a sovereign God...