8.03.2011

An ode to wedding emotions.


So, you spend all this money on wedding photography (wayyyyy too much) and then they are just stored on a hard drive forever. I figured I should post a couple photographs from our wedding. To be honest (and I think I've mentioned this before) - I was very displeased with my wedding photographs. Even a couple months ago I really started thinking about it and started crying to Ricky. He listened and then looked at me with compassion and said, "Babes, you are now happily married and have a little baby son. I don't think those pictures matter much now. And the Lord is good, and speaking, and coming back soon."

A little dose of perspective.

But all of you married women know, if we let our hearts get muddled, we can start having some wedding regret.

And while we are talking about weddings, let me tell you I HATED planning my wedding. I had just moved to San Diego from Kansas City - away from all my friends and family and decided to have my wedding here (still don't understand why I thought that was a great option) in a a city 10x more expensive than my home without an ounce of idea where to start.

It was hard. Our whole engagement season was hard. So hard. There were so many tears. So much stress. I didn't care much about any of it. I didn't care about the food or the flowers or the colors or the logistics. I just wanted to move in with Ricky and start my life. I just wanted my mom or sister or best friends near. I just wanted to learn to love Jesus in this new phase of life - away from IHOP and living with another. 

and I really, really wanted to move back to Kansas City - as soon as possible.

Since then I've learned to live in and love the season I've been handed. It has been a long journey, but I've grown up so much. I don't cling to solitude as much as I did before. I've learned to find Jesus in the mundane. I've embraced the beauty of the sovereignty of the lot I've been given - rather it be new faces, small apartments, holding babies, boring jobs, few friends, or church searching.

"The fundamental thought is the universal government of God. All that comes to you is under His controlling hand. The secondary thought is the favour of God to those that love Him. If He governs all, then nothing but good can befall those to whom He would do good... Though we are too weak to help ourselves and too blind to ask for what we need, and can only groan in unformed longings, He is the author in us of these very longing... and He will so govern all things that we shall reap only good from all that befalls us." - Benjamin B. Warfield

So here is to a beautiful, yet trying season of wedding madness that lead to my simple life with the man I love and a son of promise. Amen.

And in it all - His goodness was shining.

 






My favorite, the Polaroids, can be found here and here.

 

here's to love and a sovereign God...

7 comments:

  1. Just stumbled across your blog through TopBabyBlogs - love it!

    I was just recently wed and am going through the same period of regret. We just got back our photographs and while I love them all, I was left thinking, "Why didn't they get a shot of the inside of my locket with our deceased grandparents' photos" or "Where are the shots of the centerpieces I spent all those painstaking hours and hours putting together myself?" . Probably not captured because I didn't give the photographer direction on it, because wedding planning is cuh-razy.

    But, like you, what I do remember from that day is far more memorable than any photo can deliver: taking communion together for the first time as husband and wife, reading our joint vow to our foster son in front of all of our family and friends, seeing the joyful tears in the eyes of our minister when he led us in private prayer. Those memories will never come through a paper photograph.

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  2. Just stumbled across your blog through TopBabyBlogs - love it!

    I was just recently wed and am going through the same period of regret. We just got back our photographs and while I love them all, I was left thinking, "Why didn't they get a shot of the inside of my locket with our deceased grandparents' photos" or "Where are the shots of the centerpieces I spent all those painstaking hours and hours putting together myself?" . Probably not captured because I didn't give the photographer direction on it, because wedding planning is cuh-razy.

    But, like you, what I do remember from that day is far more memorable than any photo can deliver: taking communion together for the first time as husband and wife, reading our joint vow to our foster son in front of all of our family and friends, seeing the joyful tears in the eyes of our minister when he led us in private prayer. Those memories will never come through a paper photograph.

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  3. I remember seeing many of your wedding photos when they came out because I was facebook friends with several people in your bridal party, and I always thought they were so beautiful and unique! but I definitely understand as well the feeling of regret. there were so many pictures I had hoped for that I didn't get. but thank God for wonderful husbands who help us keep it in perspective. thanks for sharing!

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  4. Tiff! That quote you posted resonated so much with my heart I almost cried. I feel like I'm walking the same steps you are, just a handful of strides behind (minus husband and child) in the Lord being away from KC. Fighting and fighting to keep my heart alive in the midst of changing seasons and different responsibilities coming from all sorts of directions. You inspire me,you really do. I hope to see you soon...

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  5. I thought the same thing about my wedding folders and trust me mine aren't even up yet, because they are that bad. But you are right, I am just content that I am happily married and so blessed to be in this season of married life. I love ya tiff and I love reading your blog. Has anyone taken you up on your pen paling? Let me know. just.like.david @ gmail. com

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  6. oh, my wedding was shot in film (yes I'm that old) so I have some of the shots around in an album and my house, but after that it's awfully hard to share them! You looked beautiful at your wedding. I really like the yellow bridesmaid dresses.

    We actually got married in San Diego (well Del Mar) Where was your reception? that place looks really fun!

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