1.28.2010

let's wait here





we sigh.
we sigh.
together our eyes sigh.
you twisted in the cables of sea weed, or burnt twine.
the smell of the smoke burns our eyes.
my legs are folded like an orgami swan.




This Monday was marked on our linen calendar.


im awkward when the windows are open and the sea waters rush in.
not awkward with you,ofcourse.
for you and awkwardness could not co-exist.
would not, even if their hands were tied together.siamese twins? Or something, or not.
.
Impossible.


you tip your hat, which I so despise, and tell me,”dearest,
im comfortable all wrapped up, even if the froth sits at my feet
And the salt ruins these penny loafers.”




i wonder if the moss will dye the carpet green.
And decide I’ve never hated the color of the trees, if so disturbed as it may be.


My legs fall asleep
while you drift away in sea-dreams.


hands on forehead, yours on mine,
yo protect my small forehead from the
Yesterdays.


The chasers.


The hunters.


The lies.


We don’t pray that our house will resurrect,because we know that smells silly.
The waves have legs and wear black bandanas,and creep like little thieves.
We were told they’d come for it,(but not us, never ever)


“He’s our keeper” is still etched into the wooden walls,as the paint cries it’s wet chippings.
I took the kitchenknife when I kept forgetting what train I’d hopped on,or
which train had haunted me til it ran me over with love.
Lovetrain.
Train of love.


“smells like lilies” I whisper to resting eyes.
and it’s all a prophetic utterance…which I think he hadn’t heard.but how I was wrong.always.
“how much more…”


water reflections have xray vision
and show me what lies behind my soaked overcoat,and pickeled skin.


Tall shrubbery like a labrynth,
Roses made of butterflies,
and trees that drip with perfume.
A fountain of liquid glass, and beams of fire.


The floods sweep our houses and trucks and cars and laptop computers, everlasting coolness, and awesome degrees,and lofty novels,awesome playlists, and long legs and puppy eyessssssss.


But these gardens are locked,and we’ll live forever.


I lay at his wrapped up feet,a ruth to a boaz.
Waters like Sunday morning hats.
But we still breathe with our lunged gills.
Asleep.
Underneath.


It’s only the beginning, for I hear Him in the wind.















“Let’s wait here.”

1.27.2010

i stalk my favorite poet on her blog.
she's only 23 and much prettier than i.




i've been reading her musings for 7 years.



and she just keeps getting better.



words.
this is a love affair.

.





mystery never dies.
ever.



triumphant.

1.11.2010

hello.

i'm back in action.
at a new job - where i open large envelopes using a metal speared letter opener
while praying, under my breath, in the spirit
meditating on the few verses i have memorizes
talking to jesus
and listening to various things on my rather large headphones.

so shall be the next 6 months... 12 if we push it.

after that...
adventure?


yes please.

as for now...
encounter?

yes, yes please.



love, the mrs.

12.23.2009

the goal.



so today is my last day....

tomorrow morning i fly

with love.





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12.22.2009

lovelovelove

Excerpt from A Severe Mercy. It's the story of a couple whose initial "high pagan love" for one another is eventually assaulted and sanctified by a greater love—God's love.



The author recalls a "revelation" he received as a yet unsaved fifteen-year-old:

He had been wont to despise emotions: girls were emotional, girls were weak, emotions—tears—were weakness. But this morning he was thinking that being a great brain in a tower, nothing but a brain, wouldn't be much fun. No excitement, no dog to love, no joy in the blue sky—no feelings at all. But feelings—feelings are emotions! He was suddenly overwhelmed by the revelation that what makes life worth living is, precisely, the emotions. But, then—this was awful!—maybe girls with their tears and laughter were getting more out of life. Shattering! He checked himself: showing one's emotions was not the thing: having them was. …

What is beauty but something that is responded to with emotion? Courage, at least partly, is emotional. All the splendour of life. But if the best of life is, in fact, emotional, then one wanted the highest, purest emotions: and that meant joy. Joy was the highest.

How did one find joy? In books it seemed to be found in love—a great love. … But in the books again, great joy through love seemed always to go hand in hand with frightful pain. Still, he thought, looking out across the meadow, still, the joy would be worth the pain—if, indeed, they went together. If there were a choice—and he suspected there was—a choice between, on the one hand, the heights and the depths and, on the other hand, some sort of safe, cautious middle way, he, for one, here and now chose the heights and the depths. (18)












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