THIS LIFE WE LIVE.

oh how i rejoice.

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by

Tempted and tried, I wondered why
The good man died, the bad man thrives
And Jesus cries because he loves 'em both
We're all cast-aways in need of rope
Hangin' on by the last threads of our hope
In a house of mirrors full of smoke
Confusing illusions I've seen

Where did I go wrong, I sang along
To every chorus of the song
That the devil wrote like a piper at the gates
Leading mice and men down to their fates
But some will courageously escape
The seductive voice with a heart of faith
While walkin' that line back home

So much more to life than we've been told
It's full of beauty that will unfold
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son
That deadweight burden weighs a ton
Go down into the river and let it run
Wash away all the things you've done
Forgiveness alright

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by

Still I get hard pressed on every side
Between the rock and a compromise
Like the truth and pack of lies fightin' for my soul
And I've got no place left go
'Cause I got changed by what I've been shown
More glory than the world has known
Keeps me ramblin' on

Skipping like a calf loosed from its stall
I'm free to love once and for all
And even when I fall I'll get back up
For the joy that overflows my cup
Heaven filled me with more than enough
Broke down my levees and my bluffs
Let the flood wash me

And one day when the sky rolls back on us
Some rejoice and the others fuss
'Cause every knee must bow and tongue confess
That the Son of God is forever blessed
His is the kingdom, we're the guests
So put your voice up to the test
Sing Lord, come soon

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
So, cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by
 


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i received the most prolific email from my dearest friend tamara. we have walked life together for almost 7 years. it has been a trying 7 years where we went from children to women, ladies to wives, and for me, a daughter to a mother. i spent my morning with a little life riding my hip, as he clung to my shirt collar and rubbed at his gums. my hair is a tangle of bobby pins and curls. i have accomplished very little, yet i find my heart full.

i sent in an email today to put in my 2 weeks notice at my job. i talked with a new friend last night about how to be a mother. how to be a wife. where is it i am called?

one of my dearest friends has just tracked across the midwest to move near another childhood friend /family. they will live in a land with another soul, one who marked who i am and who i've become.

tamara, the email writer, is a newlywed in midwest originally from southern california.

me, the email receiver, is a new mom in southern california originally from the midwest.

my dear jenny, is probably at home rocking her small, new little girl and drinking ice water from a glass mason jar.

my husband drove me to an overlook in san diego to watch fireworks with a slumbering son in the backseat. we were too tired to make it to the beginning of the show.

alissa, ricky's beautiful sister and one of my greatest friends in my day to day life here, is leaving tomorrow for an ihop - the birthplace of my heart.

my baby sister's son just turned one.

my mom is still singing the song, "and we will overcome."


i suppose these are such random thoughts - but to me they all connect. ones i have loved, ones who have fought alongside of me, ones who fell down and got back up, fell away to turn and run back home, ones who have told me what i didn't want to hear, ones who listened as i cried... ones who dreamed of their future husbands, children, ministries, and tears. we are still going on. still reaching. new people, yes, with new skin. but here we are, still one body with one Lord. still singing, "we'll understand this, all by and by."

and the dream that continues on within us, the ache for our Home, still rings out. yes, He is coming for us. yes, He will come.

it is rare, these days, as my head bobs in the rushing flood of the daily grind - for me to feel - the kind that makes my heart overflow and my eyes to cry and to remember. the feeling that causes me to turn to the clouds and plea silently within for them to split and bring Him home to me. and bring us all back together.

but today, because of a friend, because of God Himself still reaching, my heart explodes. these 120 minutes i have as my son sleeps - where everything is calling my attentions. unfolded laundry, undone dishes, unanswered emails, and an unwashed face. these 120 minutes i don't mind just sitting and remembering. sitting and thanking God here we are, still going, still telling each other the same old song, "we'll understand this, all by and by."

hallelujah.

----

I am literally driven to praise God in gratefulness for a friend like you who has steadfastly looked into my eyes in every season of my adult and sang "farther along, we'll know all about it" - tamara

my friends, it is true, "farther along, we'll know all about it, farther along we will understand why."